Disappointed. Motivated.

I did it. I tested. Travis tested. We are ready. Travis went to the nutrition seminar and got educated on his new diet for the next 10 weeks (and hopefully more long term) and I took the kids to Subway. Then we traded off, I went to testing and Travis went to Subway!  I really don't know what I was expecting when I walked in through the doors. I was very relieved to see many familiar faces, all with the same goal in mind: get healthy! We all may have different sub-goals: lose weight, maintenance, increase endurance etc, but we are all there together to gain or re-gain control of our health and our life. So, I walked in, nervous. The mile run hanging over my head. My lungs mildly wheezing. Nervous. The place was insanely packed! You know, for some reason I had a split second where I thought, "forget this!" I was making a big deal out of nothing. Yeah, many of these people had seen me at my absolute best, and now here I am, clearly not what I was back in July...guess how many people noticed? Zero. It was only a battle in my head. Sigh.

I went into the small room to get my measurements. Of course, the one measurement I dreaded the most was the first thing I did. I stepped on that scale. Damn you scale 4, I thought we were friends!!! The scale MIGHT have let out a little moan when I stepped on it. When I saw what it said, I fought back tears. Damn it Abby. I knew it was bad, but this? (Insert 4 letter word here that ends with "uck") Disappointed. I have worked TOO hard over the past 16 months to have the scale read what it did. How could I have slipped so far? Ok, I know how: eating crappy, not working out. But why? What is it that makes someone fall back into old habits? I heard once it takes 6 months to develop a good habit and keep that habit. Well, hadn't I done that? I guess I just became too comfortable, slipped a little, and obviously got to the point where I didn't care.

Moving on. Measurements, eh, I knew those wouldn't be so good considering I know how my clothes currently fit. I have been wearing the same 2 pairs of cords to work since they are my only size 12's. The 10's just hang in my closet, collecting dust, remembering better times. Next was the sit and reach...that is the one thing I am always good at. Always been pretty flexible. Still flexible, but I do have a belly roll that gets in the way of my reaching. Then, slowly, I made my way to the bathroom. There was a big line ahead of me so I had a while to stress some more. Met a lady in line...turns out she will be in my class. We had a good little chat and she was asking me about Farrell's. I LOVE explaining Farrell's to people. I love to share my experience with it and hope to ignite that passion for it for someone else. But, every time I talk about it to a stranger, something in me burns even more. Pushes me. That's how I know this is the real deal. I made my way through the line, and there it was. The fully clothed person waiting with a camera. So, I stripped down to my awesome peach sports bra and black skin tight spandex shorts. I just let it all hang out! So there I am, with about 5 other women dressed just like me (sans peach sports bras, they at least matched) waiting in line to get our pictures taken. I got up there and just as I was saying something to the lady behind the camera (or licking my lips, I can't remember) she took my picture. THIS should turn out good. Ha! Did my poses for the camera and got the hell out of there...after I threw my clothes back on of course!

Sit ups, push ups and mile run were all I h ad left. One thing about testing, is I love the enthusiasm that fills the room! I love when people are cheering (usually for the complete stranger that is their partner) and seeing how it pushes that person to eek out one or five more push ups. I did my push ups, apologized to my partner about my hairy legs and then did my sit ups. Phew. One thing left.

It really was a nice day today. About 30-ish degrees...not too bad. Sun was out. Gotta think positive! I took a couple hits off my inhaler and thought "well, this is it. Just don't be last!" Closed my eyes, prayed my wheezing wouldn't get the best of me, and I was off. Really, wasn't too bad out there. The cold wind on my hurtin' lungs though made it a little tough. I did walk some of my mile I will admit. But, that's ok. I did finish, and I wasn't last. While I was running I was repeating a mantra in my head. "God give me strength in my legs and air in my lungs." Strange I know but honestly it helped. Not sure why those two things are what I kept repeating but it got me through. When I used to run, praying really did get me through my runs. I would be out running on the highway, just talking (in my head) away to God. At some point during my run God probably started checking his phone because I was boring Him so much. :) But it helps, and any little bit to get you through a tough run makes it easier.



Week One, Abby:                                                            Week One, Travis:
Weight: 187.2lbs                                                                Weight: 168.8 lbs
Body Fat %: 35.2                                                               Body Fat %: 15.3 (skinny ass!)
Push-ups (Girl style): 61                                                      Push-ups (the real kind): 42
Sit-ups (Hairy leg style): 40                                                 Sit ups: 49
Sit and Reach: 22 3/4"                                                        Sit and Reach: 13 1/4" (hehe)
Mile Run: 11:43                                                                  Mile Run: 7:45
Chest: 38 3/4"                                                                    Chest: 37"
Waist: 37 1/2"                                                                    Waist: 32"
Arm: 11"                                                                             Arm: 12"
Thigh: 24 1/2"                                                                    Thigh: 21 1/ 2"
Hips: 45 3/4"                                                                      Hips: 38 1 / 2"

So there ya have it. Our beginning. My new beginning. I have put on 21 lbs since July 25th. (Coincidentally the time I met Travis. I think it's his fault) I do not like those numbers but I have to be honest with myself. If the work is not being done, don't expect results. I am so proud of Travis and I. We already have our gym bags packed and our lunches made for tomorrow. We grilled up a bunch of chicken tonight and we are ready for the week! He told me tonight we should both try to end this challenge the same weight. So, Travis, does that mean you won't lose any weight? Because if I get to 168lbs that will mean I lose 19 lbs. But you know, I can do it. I lost 19 + when I was an original 10 weeker. It's on.

Thank you for letting me be real. Be authentic. These numbers hurt a lot, and make me quite embarrassed. But, they also motivate me. I will get it done. Hey scale! See ya in 5 weeks!