My own worst enemy

"The good Lord gave you a body that can stand most anything. It’s your mind you have to convince." – Vincent Lombardi

 Ah. Yes. Thank you Vince. I am my own worst enemy. Nobody fights me harder than I do in my quest to become healthy. Why?? How come I am my own worst enemy?? I know what I need to do. I have the tools, the skills, the time, the everything...I have been at this awhile I know what to do. My body is in the best shape it has been in for a very long time. BUT why is it an internal struggle? My mind tells me I am tired. My mind tells me I need to slow down. It is super hard to ignore that little voice in my head telling me I can't do it. It is the same voice that when, at 4:30 am my alarm goes off, tells me "Abby, its ok to go back to sleep! You can always do it tomorrow, come on, you have had a hard week, just rest a little more." But, instead, I find it in me (or Travis guilts me into it) to get my butt out of bed and drive the 20-25 mins into Cedar Falls at the butt crack of dawn and get my workout on. And when I am done, I feel SO good. So, if I feel so good, WHY does my brain only remember how tired I am? I wish my brain would remember how good it feels to workout and not how good a donut tastes. I mean really. How sick and twisted is that?? lol. I get more enjoyment out of a donut than I do a vigorous exercise. But is that really surprising? I would venture to say that most people would choose a donut and all its maple-y goodness over 45 minutes of exercise. Ok not always...can I just bring a donut to my kickboxing class? It would fit in my boxing glove....

 So, daily, I fight myself. Last week, it proved 100% true (as if I didn't already know) that I am a STRESS EATER! I wanted to eat everything I could get my hands on. Mainly bad things of course. Work has been hectic and stressful, and I noticed a real correlation between my appetite and my stress levels. It also didn't help that because of work being so stressful I only made it to 4 out of 7 workouts at Farrell's last week. Basically last week sucked. Hard. Thursday last week was SO bad, we ordered pizza. Travis went down the street to our amazing pizza place, got us pizza and I thoroughly enjoyed it. In fact, I ate 4 pieces. Couple hours later, said amazing pizza place also sells amazing ice cream. So, Travis went back down the street and got us ice cream too. Food seriously calms my stress. But, then I have eaters remorse. And it also kept me up that night because (shocking) I was sick to my stomach. Duh! But, there was my free day...well, until Saturday when Travis and I went to Famous Daves. I SAID IT WAS A BAD WEEK! lol. 

But, Monday is always a new beginning and that is what it has been. I am trying to ignore that voice in my head telling me I can't do it. But it is SO hard. I grilled up my 3-4 lbs of chicken for the week for Travis and I, made us healthy lunches and suppers ( I even got some sweet recipes to try out from the eating clean class I went to and I can't wait to make them on my own! ) I shopped for the first time in the organic section at the grocery store too. ha!  

Now for my biggest challenge I have ever faced. I signed up for this race called the "Tough Mudder." It is deemed "probably the toughest event on the planet." Great. So why did I do that? Watch this link. 

http://toughmudder.com/

What do you think? Am I crazy? ha! At least Travis and my good friend Nat are going to do it with me. Along with about 30+ members of my Farrells Family. I am PUMPED. It isn't until September 8th, so I got some time to train. My biggest fear (seriously) is how will I keep my eyebrows on going through all that mud and water. hahaha.... :) So, I set a new goal for myself. By the time this race starts, I am shooting to be at 155 lbs. That is about  23 lbs from where I am now. I think by September I should be able to get there. It's much easier to run lighter, right? :) 

So that's it. That's what has been rattling around in this head of mine. Sorry I don't blog more often. I have honestly been typing this one for over an hour and half now, with all my interruptions. This is why I don't blog more. ha! Now I need to get my biggest loser in and hit the hay. Another early morning workout for me. That little voice just better shut up when my alarm goes off in the morning. I don't want it to ruin my day. I can't keep being my own worst enemy. I am better than that.

 

Untitled.

End of week 6 today. I ended it by not going to work out this morning, ha ha. :) But really I do feel guilty. A little. Maybe. I do have a legit excuse for not going this morning. Truly. I was up yesterday at 4:30 am, worked til 2, did the 3:30 kickboxing class with Chris (who's workouts seriously make you cry, lol) then worked again from 7-11pm and didn't get home until almost midnight. So, there. When 5am came I said no gracias 5am. Not today. Travis went though, so, yay Trav. Plus I have to work all day today too. See, legit excuses, right? :) It only took a paragraph for me to explain myself. I really should have went.

So, technically you aren't supposed to weigh yourself while doing a 10 week challenge...only at 5 week testing and final testing are you able to weigh yourself. And I NEVER break the rules. NEVER. Somehow though this morning my scale found its way under my feet. Hmm. If only the number on there was the real number. I had to do a double take...it read 172. Sooooo by my scale's standards I have lost 15 ish lbs....but, of course, the only scale that matters in this challenge is scale number 4 at FXB. I hope that at the final weigh in it is in the morning, ha! Now if only I could be laying down until the exact moment I have to stand on that scale...I swear I gain a pound or two the second I stand up in the morning. :)

My cravings have really been under control this week...although I felt sabotaged by Valentine's Day! :) Mister Travis, being the amazing boyfriend he is, couldn't stop at the roses for V-day. I also got my favorite kind of chocolate ever...mint truffles. Mint truffles that cost me 270 calories for 4 of them.  Which I guess isn't THAT bad considering they are only about 65-70 calories a piece. But honestly, who can stop at just ONE? Only a crazy person. So, duh, not me. :) Oh well, they are gone now so no more worries right? ha! I did stay MOSTLY within my calorie goals for the day though, despite those nummy little things.

Speaking of calorie goals, what do you do to track your food? You are tracking your food right? :) I thought so. Tracking food though is so important when it comes to weight loss goals. It is just important in general to know what we are putting into our bodies. There are lots of different ways to track food, from using just paper and pen to using an app on your smart phone. I use the "myfitnesspal" app on my phone. Or, I go to www.myfitnesspal.com. I mostly use it to track my calories and my protein. I don't pay too much attention to fat content but I look at carbs and protein ratios. Try to anyway. It is a nice program because you can put in your goals and it adjusts the recommended calories to meet  that goal. Currently I have mine set at "lose a pound a week" so my caloric goals (for my current weight) for the day are 1530 calories per day. You can add in exercise too and it adjusts calories for you again. Handy little tool, especially at the end of the day when you are sitting at 1500 calories and are wanting that last snack of the night...hmm... is this snack worth going over my calorie goals for the day? It is a nice visual. Then, when you end your day, it gives you a projected weight if you have the same intake for 5 weeks. Good little motivator!

Tonight is our "free night". I am PUMPED. We are going to Buffalo Wild Wings to gorge ourselves on wings and beer. Or maybe just beer. Either way, yum. I am getting the parmesan garlic boneless wings. Holy mother of all that is holy those are so good. SOOOO good. Plus they leave you with amazing clear-the-room breath. Then, I sweet talked Travis into taking me to see "The Vow". I can't wait! Love me some Nicholas Sparks romantical crap. :) So after I binge on unhealthy crap, tomorrow I am learning how to eat clean. Lauri, the wife of the cry inducing Chris that I previously mentioned, is teaching a group of us how to eat clean. I am excited. I am not quite sure what is in store for me, but I am more than willing to learn. It is truly amazing when you stop and think about all the processed and over processed crap we put into our bodies. It's a wonder why we have more of the diseases that we do these days. We are doing it to ourselves. I won't go into that for now though, but I do believe we as a nation have caused our own problems by eating chemicals. Anywhoo, I will post some tidbits from my cooking session with Lauri. She is awesome. So is Chris. Honestly two of my inspirations. Those two do anything for anyone that is wanting to get on track with their health and fitness and I couldn't be more thankful!

Alright, I guess I am done rambling in this untitled post. I wish I had some sweet pictures to post. Something to make this a little more exciting to look at. Words will just have to do I spose. I will leave you all with some funny weight loss quotes from people who are wittier than I.  :) Enjoy and have a wonderful weekend!!!

“Food is like sex: when you abstain, even the worst stuff begins to look good.” -Beth McCollister
“I’m allergic to food. Every time I eat it breaks out into fat.”-Jennifer Greene Duncan
“I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.”- Author Unknown
“You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She’s 97 today and we don’t know where the hell she is.” –Ellen Degeneres
“The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat are really good friends.” -Author Unknown
“Stressed spelled backwards is desserts. Coincidence? I think not!” -Author Unknown
“I’m in shape. Round is a shape… isn’t it?” -Author Unknown
“Inside some of us is a thin person struggling to get out, but they can usually be sedated with a few pieces of chocolate cake.” ~Author Unknown
“Bigger snacks mean bigger slacks.” -Author Unknown

Life. It gets in the way.

Well, it has been 3 weeks since I updated this thing. It wasn't because I forgot about it at all. I missed doing it, in fact. Like I said before, it is great therapy. The last 3 weeks honestly just flew by. I spent a few days out of each week sick. I got a nasty chest cold and was down for the count for 3 days or so, then of course, the next week I got the stomach flu. Having the stomach flu was weird, I didn't eat a single thing for 24 hours, and I wasn't even hungry. Now that is how I know I am sick! lol. Anyway, I had all these awesome ideas for blog posts during my hiatus, and of course I can't remember them all. So, I will just write as things come to mind. :) Travis and I have been doing quite well. We are following the diet (mostly) and going to work out every day. Travis has not missed a day at all yet, and I have of course- being sick, random appointments that go late, etc. Again, life happens.
As far as the diet goes, I said mostly because the last 2 weeks Travis and I have taken free weekends instead of free days. We both recognize this is a bad habit to form and have committed ourselves to only taking a free day and not extending it to a weekend. But boy have we had some YUMMY free days. We went to Applebees once, we have had pizza, ice cream from Cold Stone (I highly recommend the salty caramel ice cream...mmmmm) and brownies. We are not lacking at all from sweet crap. :) You know what though, each time I ate like that, I also ended up nauseated, having heart burn, and feeling like I was gonna ralph. It's amazing how your body is like EFF THIS! and totally rejects the crap you are putting in it. BUT, every weekend, I continue to put crap in because IT TASTES SO GOOD!

Jumping topics: have any of you seen the show on TLC about the "600 lb weight loss story"? I think that is what it is called. It was a great story...but just reminds me of all the things I used to do when I was heavier. All the tricks that you THINK work but really don't. The thing that hit me was how she would hide sweets and treats in everyday places so that you couldn't really see them when you were just looking at it. Like she hid her stuff under her yarn in her sewing basket. Ahhhh, been there. Not a sewing basket, but in other random spots so only I knew where they were. The other thing I know I have done is take my purse (a big purse) and try to hide behind it when I am sitting down. As if a bag is going to hide the rolls I have. So many tricks we try to come up with to hide the reality of what we are living. It is so much easier to do that than face the truth. I have been there, done that. And it sucks. But, all it takes is ONE time to hit the bottom, know that its life or death, healthy or disabled, to change things. I don't want to look at things as "fat" or "skinny" (though it is SO hard to not do that) because that is not the message I want to portray. It is either healthy or not healthy. When my kids talk about a candy bar or a treat of some sort, they will say "we can't eat that, it will make you fat" and I try to turn that around and say unhealthy, not fat. I don't want my kids to have an idea of how they are SUPPOSED to look because of TV, magazines, etc. Especially my daughter. I never want her self worth defined by if she is what the media says is the "right size". So, I educate at home now, at age 6, about healthy choices. They ask all the time "does this have protein in it?" and I just hope that sticks with them.

So, Saturdays at Farrells are SO fun. Really, every kick boxing day is fun, but Saturdays are different. There is a 75 minute kickboxing class that just pushes you to the edge. I sweat so much, it looks like I showered. It is for FIT members only and it is intense. A couple weekends ago I did it and I took a picture of my foot afterward. Check out the battle scars. Total bruising to my toes and to the upper portion of my foot. Kinda dark I know...the bruises of course opened up and now I have scars on my toes. I have the ugliest feet now because of Farrell's but I love it! I like having the bruises and the scars...I worked for every one of them.

 

Week 5 has now come to a close and tomorrow marks the start of week 6. It is going to intensify on band days, adding lots of cardio. It is HARD. No sugar coating this. It sucks. A big one.  But it works. I am so glad I have Travis with me on this journey, it has helped big time to have someone in my home on the same journey as me. Not only do I have travis, I have one of my good friends that is with me as well. Her name is Natalie and we started this program together as 10 weekers. We weren't friends right away, as she is actually 10 years younger than me, but we eventually became quite close. We lean into eachother for support, talk about when we eat bad, celebrate our accomplishments and never give up on eachother

Here is one year ago: 

 

And here is last Monday:

Ahh in all our sweaty glory. :) But honestly I would not be able to do this program without her. 

Finally, week 5 numbers for me and Travis! I am so so so proud of us!!!

Travis: 

weight: 167.8

body fat: 10.6%

chest: 36 in

waist: 30 in

arm: 11.5 in

thigh: 21 in

hips: 38.25 in

push ups in one min: 54

sit ups in one min: 53

sit and reach: 18 in

mile run: 7:03 (ugh, he makes me sick!) :)

abby:

weight: 178.6

body fat: 32.9

chest: 37 in

waist: 33.5 in (FOUR INCH CHANGE!)

arm: 10.5 in 

thigh: 24.5 in (no change)

hips: 44 in

pushups in one min: 75

sit ups in one min: 44

sit and reach: 23.25 in

mile run: 11:17 

I am ecstatic with my changes. I lost almost 9 lbs in 5 weeks and 8 inches overall!!! Travis lost 5% of his total body fat percent. We rock!! I am so proud of us. 

We are ready for week 6 now. Hitting it head on. Fridge is stocked, attitudes readjusted. 

Healthy stuff in there. We are ready! Only 5 weeks to go now! :)

I will leave you all with this. It rings true. 

 

Here's to a great week!