My own worst enemy

"The good Lord gave you a body that can stand most anything. It’s your mind you have to convince." – Vincent Lombardi

 Ah. Yes. Thank you Vince. I am my own worst enemy. Nobody fights me harder than I do in my quest to become healthy. Why?? How come I am my own worst enemy?? I know what I need to do. I have the tools, the skills, the time, the everything...I have been at this awhile I know what to do. My body is in the best shape it has been in for a very long time. BUT why is it an internal struggle? My mind tells me I am tired. My mind tells me I need to slow down. It is super hard to ignore that little voice in my head telling me I can't do it. It is the same voice that when, at 4:30 am my alarm goes off, tells me "Abby, its ok to go back to sleep! You can always do it tomorrow, come on, you have had a hard week, just rest a little more." But, instead, I find it in me (or Travis guilts me into it) to get my butt out of bed and drive the 20-25 mins into Cedar Falls at the butt crack of dawn and get my workout on. And when I am done, I feel SO good. So, if I feel so good, WHY does my brain only remember how tired I am? I wish my brain would remember how good it feels to workout and not how good a donut tastes. I mean really. How sick and twisted is that?? lol. I get more enjoyment out of a donut than I do a vigorous exercise. But is that really surprising? I would venture to say that most people would choose a donut and all its maple-y goodness over 45 minutes of exercise. Ok not always...can I just bring a donut to my kickboxing class? It would fit in my boxing glove....

 So, daily, I fight myself. Last week, it proved 100% true (as if I didn't already know) that I am a STRESS EATER! I wanted to eat everything I could get my hands on. Mainly bad things of course. Work has been hectic and stressful, and I noticed a real correlation between my appetite and my stress levels. It also didn't help that because of work being so stressful I only made it to 4 out of 7 workouts at Farrell's last week. Basically last week sucked. Hard. Thursday last week was SO bad, we ordered pizza. Travis went down the street to our amazing pizza place, got us pizza and I thoroughly enjoyed it. In fact, I ate 4 pieces. Couple hours later, said amazing pizza place also sells amazing ice cream. So, Travis went back down the street and got us ice cream too. Food seriously calms my stress. But, then I have eaters remorse. And it also kept me up that night because (shocking) I was sick to my stomach. Duh! But, there was my free day...well, until Saturday when Travis and I went to Famous Daves. I SAID IT WAS A BAD WEEK! lol. 

But, Monday is always a new beginning and that is what it has been. I am trying to ignore that voice in my head telling me I can't do it. But it is SO hard. I grilled up my 3-4 lbs of chicken for the week for Travis and I, made us healthy lunches and suppers ( I even got some sweet recipes to try out from the eating clean class I went to and I can't wait to make them on my own! ) I shopped for the first time in the organic section at the grocery store too. ha!  

Now for my biggest challenge I have ever faced. I signed up for this race called the "Tough Mudder." It is deemed "probably the toughest event on the planet." Great. So why did I do that? Watch this link. 

http://toughmudder.com/

What do you think? Am I crazy? ha! At least Travis and my good friend Nat are going to do it with me. Along with about 30+ members of my Farrells Family. I am PUMPED. It isn't until September 8th, so I got some time to train. My biggest fear (seriously) is how will I keep my eyebrows on going through all that mud and water. hahaha.... :) So, I set a new goal for myself. By the time this race starts, I am shooting to be at 155 lbs. That is about  23 lbs from where I am now. I think by September I should be able to get there. It's much easier to run lighter, right? :) 

So that's it. That's what has been rattling around in this head of mine. Sorry I don't blog more often. I have honestly been typing this one for over an hour and half now, with all my interruptions. This is why I don't blog more. ha! Now I need to get my biggest loser in and hit the hay. Another early morning workout for me. That little voice just better shut up when my alarm goes off in the morning. I don't want it to ruin my day. I can't keep being my own worst enemy. I am better than that.